This topic will require tons of imagination, as I have not yet visited Paris. The question was easy, what would I do if I was stuck in Paris during one of their many infamous strikes? The answer on the other hand is much more difficult, would I as an American participate, stand by as an innocent spectator, or maybe something more or less extreme. I really don't know, my first answer would be to just watch and observe history in the making but if it was something more spectacular and moving, I'm sure that I would find a way to be apart of everything. The thought is simple, would I want to simply observe history or is it better to participate, those who watch have no accountability for experience.
(Sorry this was difficult to write on, I might add more tomorrow.)
Wednesday, October 13
Forgiveness
I keep thinking, should I or shouldn't I? Do I really need this heartache and pain in my life? But ultimately I've decided that I will, it's never a simply case of should I or shouldn't I, in fact it has never so simple. My answer simply comes from my thoughts, because I think you deserve my forgiveness, I think that I have made some mistakes, that we have made some mistakes, in the past few weeks. I just wish that we would have made an case for communication, or lack therein of, for which we are both guilty.
Like many people, my first reaction to betrayal was revenge, but revenge isn't always cut and paste. It's always a little messy and it involves other people getting hurt. My goal isn't to hurt anyone else, but just to not feel the way I was feeling. Childishly I was thinking that if I made someone feel the same way I felt then I would be on top, I would have perched myself back on top of Cloud 9. But I found out that revenge doesn't work, it's unsatisfying. Sure, you're caught up in this moment where revenge is bliss but in the end it's not, it's sorrow and disgust. Think "The Bride" at the end of Kill Bill, after she had her revenge she experienced this brief bittersweet moment of happiness, but you know what she ended up feeling sorrow and the sting of sadness. In her case, as is the case with many accomplishment equaled despondency.
Everyone says that it is best to just forgive and forget, but honestly how many people do you know that actually forgive and forget? It's never forgotten, always brought up on some drunken night, some fight, some disagreement, come case in point, truthfully no one can ever forgive and forget. The prospect of doing so is simply ludicrous. I'm sure you can count on one hand how many actually do. There's something truly remarkable in remembering, it braces you for that inevitable day that you will need to recall exact events and emotions. Frankly I feel as though it's better to not forgive or forget, it's better to know so you can look for signs and reoccurrence.
You might ask where all this is coming from, that it seems random and off the wall, and perhaps it is. The truth is that ultimately it's random but also it speaks to my character today, but not just today for the past week. It's also addressing something that's been weighing heavily on my heart and mind recently. I think I have an excellent capacity for forgiveness, I just don't want that fact taken for granted.
Like many people, my first reaction to betrayal was revenge, but revenge isn't always cut and paste. It's always a little messy and it involves other people getting hurt. My goal isn't to hurt anyone else, but just to not feel the way I was feeling. Childishly I was thinking that if I made someone feel the same way I felt then I would be on top, I would have perched myself back on top of Cloud 9. But I found out that revenge doesn't work, it's unsatisfying. Sure, you're caught up in this moment where revenge is bliss but in the end it's not, it's sorrow and disgust. Think "The Bride" at the end of Kill Bill, after she had her revenge she experienced this brief bittersweet moment of happiness, but you know what she ended up feeling sorrow and the sting of sadness. In her case, as is the case with many accomplishment equaled despondency.
Everyone says that it is best to just forgive and forget, but honestly how many people do you know that actually forgive and forget? It's never forgotten, always brought up on some drunken night, some fight, some disagreement, come case in point, truthfully no one can ever forgive and forget. The prospect of doing so is simply ludicrous. I'm sure you can count on one hand how many actually do. There's something truly remarkable in remembering, it braces you for that inevitable day that you will need to recall exact events and emotions. Frankly I feel as though it's better to not forgive or forget, it's better to know so you can look for signs and reoccurrence.
You might ask where all this is coming from, that it seems random and off the wall, and perhaps it is. The truth is that ultimately it's random but also it speaks to my character today, but not just today for the past week. It's also addressing something that's been weighing heavily on my heart and mind recently. I think I have an excellent capacity for forgiveness, I just don't want that fact taken for granted.
The Beautiful Truth
There's something truly amazing in finding out the truth on your own,
it allows you to make these grand assumptions
and stellar proclamations.
Honesty,
they know the truth always comes out,
so it's best to speak in imperative truths.
A lie is concealment
and concealment is a lie.
Truths I've learned
are not inconsequential.
The Truths they know about me are all encompassing.
A lie is a lie,
but not necessarily.
This unforeseen realm
loudly, but in clarity, speaks to me.
It proclaims that I must,
"Abandon all truth,
for you have entered the realm of the liar."
I could never believe that the truth has undone so many,
that they still cling to their lies,
never once admitting the truth
and yet
we came forth to see their many lies.
Only when they were reflected,
back into their faces,
did the truth come out.
it allows you to make these grand assumptions
and stellar proclamations.
Honesty,
they know the truth always comes out,
so it's best to speak in imperative truths.
A lie is concealment
and concealment is a lie.
Truths I've learned
are not inconsequential.
The Truths they know about me are all encompassing.
A lie is a lie,
but not necessarily.
This unforeseen realm
loudly, but in clarity, speaks to me.
It proclaims that I must,
"Abandon all truth,
for you have entered the realm of the liar."
I could never believe that the truth has undone so many,
that they still cling to their lies,
never once admitting the truth
and yet
we came forth to see their many lies.
Only when they were reflected,
back into their faces,
did the truth come out.
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