The Truth

To me the worst thing in the world is a lie. I'm sure there are worst things than a lie, but to me the act of telling a lie is unforgivable. A lie is the opposite of a great story because it builds and builds into an unsatisfying end. It never pays off, or at least the payoff is unexpected. Someone once told me that you can always tell a lie because of how outrageous a story sounds. I'm here to tell you first hand that that's true. How you can tell a person is a liar is by their mysterious and changing behaviors. I mean in all honesty mystery is not sexy, it is not attractive. Ok, sure you can argue that mystery is somewhat sexy, but it's a trap. Ladies let me tell you, guys hide behind mystery so you don't expect them of lying. It's easier for us to say that we're just mysterious and not that we're lying.

My Problem with the Rainbow

(Note: After constantly listening to my homosexual friends talk about their relationships I have finally decided to address this topic.)

Sylvia Plath said it best when describing her perceived neurotic behavior, "If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days." The same can be said about most male-male homosexual relationships when concerning monogamy. It has come to a common consensus that most homosexual men do not believe in monogamy, not only do they not believe in it, but they also have a twisted representation of its definition. Monogamy is best defined as the practice or state of having a sexual relationship with only one partner. A lot of males in the homosexual community have no real clue as to what it means to be in a monogamous relationship, sure a lot of them wish for something that resembles monogamy, but wishing and actually believing in a monogamous relationship are not the same thing.

Writer's Block

Today I need to think of a new topic to write on, I fee that, unless I'm moving around I have nothing new to write about. So I plan to transcend my limitations and buckle down and write a short short story. Should be posted sometime tonight.

6

It's all just gravity. 
The closer I get to you the more you're pulling away. 


The more I fall, 
the more I see you floating away. 


Into space 
as I try clawing myself out of the abyss. 
I have barely come to terms with gravity, 
so I succumb to the depth. 


I feel it in my body, in my soul, 
in my everything 
that now is the time 
that I wait for you to come to me. 


Gravity be damned, 
heaven and earth be damned. 
As of now I'm waiting for you to come to me.

A Question of Mortality

A few days ago someone I care deeply about told me something completely unsettling. I don't remember how the subject was broached but I was told that old age is not an option, once this person reaches a certain age they would kill themselves, at first I stood there startled and I thought "would there ever be anything that would cause me to think so drastically about life" and I finally have the answer. I think that there's only a few things in my life that would make me consider suicide.

5

Self Portrait 26.10.10

the ground beneath my feet.

the pitter-patter of the marching feet behind me,
all in succession.

the sounds of planes,
trains,
and automobiles,
round and round.
Dizzying, yet placing me at ease.

is this the big comedown?
the hypnotic end to such a great high.

this feeling in my head,
in my heart,
and in my being.
the drowning in eternal
internal sunset

truth be told,
this is the most human i've ever felt.
crash landing in an emotional shit storm,
i acted,
i pretended,
"and the award for best actor"

me

but now the consequences for my actions.

the fact that i wanted to numb myself
with all things anti me,
death has come for me
from above,

numbness subsided and now back to reality.

XXXMED

A great picture by JFF

I THINK WE ALL FEEL LIKE THIS SOMETIMES!

4

Today,
I take the longest walk of my life.

Down that ol' green mile.

Checking in to see if I receive my scarlet letter,
that branding that marks us forever.
Naivety has led me to this moment,
how can someone like you fall so hopelessly,
head over heels,
madly,
unequivocally in love with someone like me.

You  hide your branding well,
you scarlet letter is flush and skin toned.

Still,
I walk to my doom,
slowly and an eternity away.

Down that ol' green mile.

I cry deep inside,
thinking that this betrayal has the same sting as a double edged dagger.

Who did this to you,
who hurt you so bad that you would blindly harm other,
that you would send me

Down this ol' green mile.

Romance is dead,
you shot it at point blank range.
In it's back, just like me.
More than once,
more than twice.

Fuck the fool, I am the fool.

The dread is killing me,
standing at the threshold.
I wonder what your doing,
sleeping the night away.

Unaware of the path of destruction that is placed in front of you.
The path I laid waste to

Down the ol' green mile.

(Originally written on 14, October 2010)

Oh, What a Week! Part Deux.